That moment..

- September 19th -
I'm waiting for my audition. This is always the worst time. No matter how many visits to the toilet, you still have to go. Normally you're calm and serene, now your hands can't stop shaking and sweat is developing in every possible and undesirable place. You can sing like a mad(wo)men under normal conditions, but right now your voice is shaky and not at all what you want it to be.
And yet I continue to sign up for auditions! Failure after failure, one nervous breakdown after an other.. all voluntary.
Ok, I might be exaggerating a bit.. :) But still, waiting for the moment you hear your name is awful. I'm auditioning for a part in a new play based on 'The Winters Tale' by mr. Shakespear. I received a song and a dialogue to prepare for today. I know the lyrics and the lines and I made decisions about my character. Who is she? Why is she here?
Is this going to be enough? Are they going to like it?
Time will tell.

- September 20th -
Well, sadly I was not what they were looking for. I did, however, learn something new. I should be different. I should find something that makes them (the people on the other side of the table) remember me. What that might be is something to find out. I got my work cut out for next week!

Xx

Broke

Yup, there's not even a penny left on my bankaccount. Mostly because I'm saving my money for later, but also because having succes with losing weight means you have to buy a new wardrobe all together every season. Fall is on it's way and every sweater in my closet is either to old or to big. And yes, oversized is ok. But trust me, this just isn't flattering in any way.

So aside from the fact that I have to raise money for America, I also have to spend money on a lovely fall/winter wardrobe. And this year I'm inspired by my blogging classmate (lisarosalie.blogspot) and all the awesome outfits on pinterest! Also, I have a new body to dress. The worst thing there, I can't stop staring at it in the dressingroom. It's bad. (the staring, not my body. That is smokin'! :P)

So far for this Mondaymorning. I do not enjoy Mondaymornings..
Xx!

Trouble sleeping

This, due to my frustration on the matter, won't be a late night thought, or sudden moment of clarity. No no. This is a desperate attempt to get some sleep. I never pray, but I might just start tonight.

I have posted before that I'm not a morning person. This is because I'm an evening person. My day starts at noon (preferably) and I'm never really tired at night so I just basically have trouble sleeping every night. But this night, this night wins. I went to bed about 4 hours ago. Nothing. I'm not even tired!
So you could see how this would be rather frustrating. On top of everything I worked out for 2 hours today. That would get you a bit tired, right? Nope, not me. This might just be my bodies way of saying to me that I need to do more, apparently living like a crazy workaholic is the only thing that knocks my brain out at night.

Now that I got this off my chest, I'm going to listen to the sound of my father snoring while turning green of envy for his ability to fall asleep anytime, anywhere. Dad, why didn't you share that with me?
To all who read this, I hope you never have this much trouble while trying to fall asleep.

Night night! (hopefully)
Xx

One sheep, two sheep, three sheep,
four sheep, five sheep, is that a sixth
or is that five's outrageous behind..?
Oh, no. Six sheep, seven..
und so weiter, und so weiter

Disco, Disco Duck!

Another Sunday cheer up!
The sun is out again here in Holland and I'm just doing my homework while listening to the radio. Then all of a sudden this song comes up.. I just couldn't resist but sharing it! Now, I had to choose between a live version and one with Donald and Daisy showing off their moves. I went with the live version, these ducks are just rocking that stage with Rick Dees & his cast of idiots!
It sure made me smile :P

Enjoy!
Xx

Morning blues

There are those days where you just don' t wake up. At least not without the beautiful thing called caffeine. I'm writing this on one of those mornings. I have to get up rather early to go to work (so early that the traffic lights were still happily asleep, the bastards), and since I'm already not much of a morning person I sort of role out of bed and go. Then it's a ride on my bike for 45 minutes before I reach my destination. Now riding in the morning dew, the wind in your hair, the air still fresh from the cool night, this is supposed to wake people up in the morning. But things like that don't work once you've reached being addicted to a cup of black gold every morning. It is sad really, I will no longer enjoy mornings unless I drink the stuff that makes my mouth smell like a sewer after a hot summer day.
Coffee, darn you! Your deliciousness made me a Morning Monster!
Thank God for the coffee machine at work :)

And a little update on my fundraising, so far I'm still in stage numero uno. Nothing much has happened yet. However, I did give my plan a name: Mission Anouk Overseas. I first thought of 'There and Back again, a singers tale by Anouk van der Laan'.. but you never know whether you'll get seued nowadays. :) The publishers of LOTR just might have a person who used to work at Apple, and then I'm screwed.
Ok, bad humor.. in my defence, I'm still working on my first cup of coffee.

Happy Saturday!
Xx

Believe in yourself

My first day of the last year.

It started out fan-freaking-tastic with my train being delayed, therefore I arrived 20 minutes late in my first class. Ensemble. So there my entire class was staring at me while walking in with a face loaded with shame. I hate it when I'm late. I used to be late a lot and I got that fixed, so whenever I'm late now it just feels like a bit of a failure. But this was at 9 a.m and I was never much of a morning person to begin with, so I'll blame it on that.

After that, acting. Our current teacher (we have several throughout the year) is amazing. He has this sort of calmth over him which makes you feel very comfortable to just 'do your thing'. No matter what, it's ok to make your own choises. He just guides you through it. 

And last but not least, singing lessons! And my new teacher. We get another one every two years so you get a different perspective to learn from. This teacher might just be all I need to prepare for America. He hit my blindspot dead on! Which is believing in myself on the whole singing thing. I'm sure he can help me just fine with the numbers I want to sing at the WCOPA.

About that, I decided to make a videolog about my 'journy' this year, 'cause it will be one hell of a mission, and why deny you the fun of seeing me struggle through my awkwardness? How to get a clumsy nobody to be sort of a somebody? Time will tell. 

And to take the advice I've been given today into practice:

I will do it! (I'll have to believe in me first..)

I'll keep you posted :)
Xx

Smiling on Sunday

Sharing smiles because sharing love is too mainstream :P

Smile #1
I found this little fella via Pinterest and I just couldn't resist! So here he (well she, I added a bow..) is to lighten up your sunday! 

Happy hedgehog via Pinterest -  Editing via pixlr express

Smile #2
One of my favorite songs is 'Smile'. It's very simple and sweet and for me a constant reminder not to take life too seriously.
I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I do!

Xx

Going overseas

Oh yes I am!

Going overseas that is. From the little dot I call home all the way to Los Angeles! Not right away, I have about a year to prepare.
I am a contestant in the WCOPA, World Championships of Performing Arts. I'm also going to be busy with promoting myself, which is something I never had to do.. and it kind of weirds me out to be honest. I have to pay for the trip myself and therefore I need sponsors. But how am I going to convince people to support me when they don't know me? So I've given it some thought and decided I'm going to hold a fundraising concert. That way people will get to know me, well my voice more likely, and hopefully believe in me enough to help out :)
Here an idea of what I do:

But first the start of a new year.
I am officially a senior! This will be my very last year studying  what I love to do most, which is singing, dancing & acting. It's sad in a way, I really love my classmates! They are truly a bunch of talented and crazy people and I hope to keep in touch when school's out. But it will also be the beginning of a crazy journy, stepping out in the big bad world. Trying to survive in the wilderness and getting on top of the foodchain. A.k.a trying to make it in theatre.
But first school and right now I'm at the beginning of my biggest project yet, writing my own play. It is going to be a combination of theatre and musical and I'm really looking forward to it but with a healty fear of it turning out te be crap. Time will tell. 

I hope to be updating more frequently :)

Xx