That we all may be thankfull, gratefull
and full from a lovely Christmas dinner!

'

The mindfuck we call 'love'

As it is 1.35 a.m. right now and I am still not sleeping, I thought I'd write a little something here that just popped up in my head.

A little poem about a having a crush:
A total mindfuck is what it is
Falling into pieces
Overthinking every step
And the worry never eases
As long as your heart's locked away
For one who does not know
You'll twist and turn on the merry-go-round
And you won't stop until you show

Night night dear person who found my blog!
Xx!

Love

In many things I don't stand out, but believe me when I say: "In loving you I am the best and most devoted, my heart is yours in every way." 

Sad things and happy stuff

Somehow the best and worst things in life always accompany one another. When life is there, smiling the brightest smile it always squeezes in a lemon or two. Both while you stand there, eyes wide open.
Yes, I exaggerated a little. A lot. But still, it suffices.
As I said before, I'm a musicaltheatre student (Hence the drama). And if you know how theatre works, you know actually getting ón stage is not that easy. Well, at least not for me. Believe me, I work hard and I am good enough to be up there, no one ever told me otherwise. But still no internship to show for it, all I hear is: 'Your audition was good! But you're just not the type we're looking for.'
That sentence, right there. It is the one sentence that can bring your mood from a happy, nervous state to a sad, blue, why-me-tragedy. I give myself 10 minutes of self pity every time someone turns me down, that is normally all it takes for me to turn that blue state into a more realistic one.
But lately I've been sinking into a very light, and very dramatic, depression. Not something I normally do, I only cry when I'm watching a sad movie. Titanic, the Notebook, the Lion King, Fox and Hound. The last one is the worst, when she leaves the little fox in the woods! I still cry like the 5 year old me who saw it for the very first time on Christmas eve.
But I'm drifting off.
I (recently) got out of the sad, depressing state of being. Thank God! I was about to kick me in the butt.
This because I have amazing people around me who assured me that sometimes it takes a little time to succeed in following your dreams. And although I am well aware of this, it doesn't hurt to be reminded of that every now and then.

And for some extra inspiration I went to the quote-page on Pinterest. Beause sometimes, a good repinned quote is all you need:

So I'm getting back in there and I will show that I belong on stage! Watch out world, here I come!
(Ok, the sad part is gone, but I'm still very dramatic. Oh well, it comes with the job prescription I guess :) )

Xx!

Flight

A while ago I sang 'Flight' from Craig Carnelia with a girl from my class, Annika van Bruggen.
I really love the song so I'm glad Annika agreed on singing it with me! As you can see I posted the video below.

Hope you like it!

I will never be a morning person

Nope, not a single chance of that happening any time soon. It is half past 1 in the morning and my mind still isn't ready to go to sleep so here I am, using this time to write a post.
I've been quite busy lately and though I don't think many people actually read this, I do like to write this blog.
I finally got myself to do some homework and I actually finished something before it was due! And for me that is one great accomplishment. If you love 9gag as much as I do, you must know the college student holding a beer. Well, that used to be my work ethic, I don't know how I succeeded before. I must have been really lucky. Really lucky. But it's not just school, I also got some writing done. I wrote 3 new songs alone this weekend! One is roughly finished, the other two are still a work in progress. The one that I finished is called 'Little Green Bird'. I got inspired by Sara Bareilles' 'Blue Bird' and of course 'Blackbird' from those 4 awesome British dudes, The Beatles. Birds are just awesome. They portray freedom, wisdom, growth, taking a leap of faith, you name it. The other two are about this guy I met this week (well, we met before but this time we actually talked) and my mind thought it would be fun to totally like him right away. You know how brains do that sometimes, bastards. So basically I can't get him out of my head. Rather annoying but amazing to write songs about. He does know my name, I've known him for quite a while know.
Nope, didn't work, I still feel pathetic for falling (not really falling.. more.. linking. Yeah, just liking. As in, being friends would also suffice. I just don't have anything going for me on the romantic side of life. Therefore my brain just has a field day anytime I talk to someone who is actually straight.) for someone this quick. Ah well, there are worse things in life.

Hoping he won't find this blog ('cause it's pretty obvious if you were there) I salute you. Goodnight dear person who read this blog, I hope it made you giggle. :)

Love!
Anouk

School, school, school

It seems to be more work than the last 3 years. At the moment I have a lot of projects on my hands. My own show, the fundraising, papers, my end piece..
I will be posting a video log any time soon, I didn't have the time to work it out before.

So for now, it's school, school, school. 

That moment..

- September 19th -
I'm waiting for my audition. This is always the worst time. No matter how many visits to the toilet, you still have to go. Normally you're calm and serene, now your hands can't stop shaking and sweat is developing in every possible and undesirable place. You can sing like a mad(wo)men under normal conditions, but right now your voice is shaky and not at all what you want it to be.
And yet I continue to sign up for auditions! Failure after failure, one nervous breakdown after an other.. all voluntary.
Ok, I might be exaggerating a bit.. :) But still, waiting for the moment you hear your name is awful. I'm auditioning for a part in a new play based on 'The Winters Tale' by mr. Shakespear. I received a song and a dialogue to prepare for today. I know the lyrics and the lines and I made decisions about my character. Who is she? Why is she here?
Is this going to be enough? Are they going to like it?
Time will tell.

- September 20th -
Well, sadly I was not what they were looking for. I did, however, learn something new. I should be different. I should find something that makes them (the people on the other side of the table) remember me. What that might be is something to find out. I got my work cut out for next week!

Xx

Broke

Yup, there's not even a penny left on my bankaccount. Mostly because I'm saving my money for later, but also because having succes with losing weight means you have to buy a new wardrobe all together every season. Fall is on it's way and every sweater in my closet is either to old or to big. And yes, oversized is ok. But trust me, this just isn't flattering in any way.

So aside from the fact that I have to raise money for America, I also have to spend money on a lovely fall/winter wardrobe. And this year I'm inspired by my blogging classmate (lisarosalie.blogspot) and all the awesome outfits on pinterest! Also, I have a new body to dress. The worst thing there, I can't stop staring at it in the dressingroom. It's bad. (the staring, not my body. That is smokin'! :P)

So far for this Mondaymorning. I do not enjoy Mondaymornings..
Xx!

Trouble sleeping

This, due to my frustration on the matter, won't be a late night thought, or sudden moment of clarity. No no. This is a desperate attempt to get some sleep. I never pray, but I might just start tonight.

I have posted before that I'm not a morning person. This is because I'm an evening person. My day starts at noon (preferably) and I'm never really tired at night so I just basically have trouble sleeping every night. But this night, this night wins. I went to bed about 4 hours ago. Nothing. I'm not even tired!
So you could see how this would be rather frustrating. On top of everything I worked out for 2 hours today. That would get you a bit tired, right? Nope, not me. This might just be my bodies way of saying to me that I need to do more, apparently living like a crazy workaholic is the only thing that knocks my brain out at night.

Now that I got this off my chest, I'm going to listen to the sound of my father snoring while turning green of envy for his ability to fall asleep anytime, anywhere. Dad, why didn't you share that with me?
To all who read this, I hope you never have this much trouble while trying to fall asleep.

Night night! (hopefully)
Xx

One sheep, two sheep, three sheep,
four sheep, five sheep, is that a sixth
or is that five's outrageous behind..?
Oh, no. Six sheep, seven..
und so weiter, und so weiter

Disco, Disco Duck!

Another Sunday cheer up!
The sun is out again here in Holland and I'm just doing my homework while listening to the radio. Then all of a sudden this song comes up.. I just couldn't resist but sharing it! Now, I had to choose between a live version and one with Donald and Daisy showing off their moves. I went with the live version, these ducks are just rocking that stage with Rick Dees & his cast of idiots!
It sure made me smile :P

Enjoy!
Xx

Morning blues

There are those days where you just don' t wake up. At least not without the beautiful thing called caffeine. I'm writing this on one of those mornings. I have to get up rather early to go to work (so early that the traffic lights were still happily asleep, the bastards), and since I'm already not much of a morning person I sort of role out of bed and go. Then it's a ride on my bike for 45 minutes before I reach my destination. Now riding in the morning dew, the wind in your hair, the air still fresh from the cool night, this is supposed to wake people up in the morning. But things like that don't work once you've reached being addicted to a cup of black gold every morning. It is sad really, I will no longer enjoy mornings unless I drink the stuff that makes my mouth smell like a sewer after a hot summer day.
Coffee, darn you! Your deliciousness made me a Morning Monster!
Thank God for the coffee machine at work :)

And a little update on my fundraising, so far I'm still in stage numero uno. Nothing much has happened yet. However, I did give my plan a name: Mission Anouk Overseas. I first thought of 'There and Back again, a singers tale by Anouk van der Laan'.. but you never know whether you'll get seued nowadays. :) The publishers of LOTR just might have a person who used to work at Apple, and then I'm screwed.
Ok, bad humor.. in my defence, I'm still working on my first cup of coffee.

Happy Saturday!
Xx

Believe in yourself

My first day of the last year.

It started out fan-freaking-tastic with my train being delayed, therefore I arrived 20 minutes late in my first class. Ensemble. So there my entire class was staring at me while walking in with a face loaded with shame. I hate it when I'm late. I used to be late a lot and I got that fixed, so whenever I'm late now it just feels like a bit of a failure. But this was at 9 a.m and I was never much of a morning person to begin with, so I'll blame it on that.

After that, acting. Our current teacher (we have several throughout the year) is amazing. He has this sort of calmth over him which makes you feel very comfortable to just 'do your thing'. No matter what, it's ok to make your own choises. He just guides you through it. 

And last but not least, singing lessons! And my new teacher. We get another one every two years so you get a different perspective to learn from. This teacher might just be all I need to prepare for America. He hit my blindspot dead on! Which is believing in myself on the whole singing thing. I'm sure he can help me just fine with the numbers I want to sing at the WCOPA.

About that, I decided to make a videolog about my 'journy' this year, 'cause it will be one hell of a mission, and why deny you the fun of seeing me struggle through my awkwardness? How to get a clumsy nobody to be sort of a somebody? Time will tell. 

And to take the advice I've been given today into practice:

I will do it! (I'll have to believe in me first..)

I'll keep you posted :)
Xx

Smiling on Sunday

Sharing smiles because sharing love is too mainstream :P

Smile #1
I found this little fella via Pinterest and I just couldn't resist! So here he (well she, I added a bow..) is to lighten up your sunday! 

Happy hedgehog via Pinterest -  Editing via pixlr express

Smile #2
One of my favorite songs is 'Smile'. It's very simple and sweet and for me a constant reminder not to take life too seriously.
I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I do!

Xx

Going overseas

Oh yes I am!

Going overseas that is. From the little dot I call home all the way to Los Angeles! Not right away, I have about a year to prepare.
I am a contestant in the WCOPA, World Championships of Performing Arts. I'm also going to be busy with promoting myself, which is something I never had to do.. and it kind of weirds me out to be honest. I have to pay for the trip myself and therefore I need sponsors. But how am I going to convince people to support me when they don't know me? So I've given it some thought and decided I'm going to hold a fundraising concert. That way people will get to know me, well my voice more likely, and hopefully believe in me enough to help out :)
Here an idea of what I do:

But first the start of a new year.
I am officially a senior! This will be my very last year studying  what I love to do most, which is singing, dancing & acting. It's sad in a way, I really love my classmates! They are truly a bunch of talented and crazy people and I hope to keep in touch when school's out. But it will also be the beginning of a crazy journy, stepping out in the big bad world. Trying to survive in the wilderness and getting on top of the foodchain. A.k.a trying to make it in theatre.
But first school and right now I'm at the beginning of my biggest project yet, writing my own play. It is going to be a combination of theatre and musical and I'm really looking forward to it but with a healty fear of it turning out te be crap. Time will tell. 

I hope to be updating more frequently :)

Xx

Saturday

This weekend was awesome!
Now let me tell you all about it. Every now and then I give singing lessons at my old musical club/association thingy. I teach children between the ages of 12 and 16. Saturday morning I got there at 10.00. And I just love to be there. These children are so happy to be there and some still know me from when I went there. So it was all just lovey dovey stuff.
One of the girls, she must be about 12 years old, auditioned for the musical Annie and she got through the first round. She came up to me for some extra help on how to reach and sustain a certain note she had to sing. So I helped her and she was so grateful for that! Thankfully my advice actually worked, so it made me all happy too! :)
Ok, enough with the children. You get the point, the're lovely.


That afternoon I went to Amsterdam with my best friend for some birthday presents and sushi. She got me two totally awesome and wicked sunglasses and a hat. And I've been wanting a hat like that for ages! Best present ever, but what else could you expect from your bff? After that we had to kill some time before we could go eat sushi, since our reservation was at 17.30 and it was only 17.00. On our way to the restaurant we came across an English Book Store which is something we both truly love. And that store has about every book I want to own. Some about diet and how it sucks, some about cupcakes, thousands of copies of the Hunger Games, Harry Potter (which I read in Dutch, but I want to read the original books too) and an entire bookcase with all the classics. Austen, Bronte, Tolstoy, Dickens, The entire collection of Sherlock Holmes, a collection of Andersson's fairytales, und so weiter. Amazing. I want that bookcase in the library I'm going to own. You remember the one in Beauty and the beast? That one.
I will be going back to that store. And my wallet and bank-account are not going to enjoy that visit. :)
We literally had to drag each other out of that store, but we got out and went to the restaurant.


The sushi was delicious as always. Nothing much to tell you there. They did have the best green tea me and my friend ever tasted though. Not bitter at all! Janiek, my friend, is going to look it up on the internet. If she finds it, I'll tell you the name so we can all enjoy the best green tea ever!
When we were just about finished, one of our mutual friends had a spontaneous moment. He started a group app to ask us and a few other friends if we had anything to do, and if not we could come and join him in his empty house. No one should be alone on a Saturday evening. We accepted the invite.
On our way back to the train we heard some loud noises, like people were screaming. When we tried to find out where the noise was coming from we found out that people actually were screaming. I still don't know what it was, we think supporters.. it was scary though. We got to Amsterdam Centraal in one piece. But the scary moment wasn't over yet.
In the train a man asked my friend if he could sit next to us. Polite as she is, she said yes. She hadn't noticed the beer bottle yet. Neither had I. So the man sat down beside me, smelling like beer and I thought, oh god. It wasn't that bad, just weird really. He started talking about how time goes so fast and that he really needed to pee badly. We just sat there, nodding and saying things like: "yeah.." and "oh really?". Not really trying to keep the conversation going. We did do the really worst you could do at such a moment. We got out our cellphones and opened the group app. At the time it was really funny, but actually it's kind of sad. He must have had a bad evening and there we were, a twenty and nineteen year old making fun of the drunken, weird man. Thankfully nothing happened, he just said goodbye and got out when he reached his station.


The rest of the evening was fun. We played a board game and poker at my friends house, all old school and stuff. At around 1:00 I remembered something though. Something that made the palm of my hand reach my face and smack it quite intensely. I forgot my keys. I knew my parents were really going to hate me if I'd wake them up. My mother had to work and my father had this marathon he was going to run. So the only hope was my brother. He was out with friends but after a few calls he came by the house to open the door for me and I really loved him for it!


Well, that was my Saturday. Sunday was quite peaceful after this eventful day :P I went to the gym in the morning and me and my sister made a lovely dinner for mothers day.


And now I'm back at school. My cold is not entirely gone, but I can sing again! Right now I'm working on 'Autumn' from 'Staring here, Starting now' and 'Let me be your star' from 'Smash'. I'll post a video of me singing them when their ready to be heard :P


Sorry for the long post, hope you liked it though!
Xx

First little chapter

First little chapter

Ik ben op het moment bezig met het schrijven van een verhaal. Het is nog lang niet klaar en geen enkel hoofdstuk is al daar waar het moet zijn. Ik heb wel een hoofdstuk af. Het eerste hoofdstuk. Ook dit hoofdstuk is nog niet wat het uiteindelijk gaat worden. En wat het uiteindelijk gaat worden staat bij lange na nog niet vast, maar dit zou op zichzelf een verhaaltje kunnen zijn.

Genoeg om de hete brij heen gedraaid, hier komt het. Hope you enjoy :)

1.
Een heerlijke zoete geur. Ik kan het nog niet helemaal plaatsen, maar ik weet dat het zoet is. Met mijn ogen dicht snuif ik heftig om de lucht goed in me op te nemen. Als bij het proeven van wijn visualiseer ik de lucht als een vloeistof op mijn tong. Een dikke vloeistoef. Misschien ruik ik siroop? Nee, het is anders. Ik haal nogmaals diep adem. Ik ruik ook iets branderigs, iets knapperigs. Ik herken de geur, maar ik kan hem maar niet thuisbrengen. Koekjes? Nee, ook niet. Cake? He, wat irritant! Wat is het nou? Ik doe mijn ogen open. Ik ben in een voor mij onbekende ruimte. Het is een grote, fellichte ruimte. Het is er koud. Vooral mijn voeten voelen erg koud aan. Ik kijk naar beneden en zie dat ik niets aan mijn voeten heb. Dat verklaart in ieder geval de kou. Ik sta op een tegelvloer. Kleine donkerbruine tegeltjes met beige strengels erin. De voegen zijn grijs. Ik til mijn rechtervoet op en strijk met mijn grote teen over het tegeltje onder mijn voet. Ze zijn een beetje grof van textuur en nu ik beter kijk zie ik dat er veel viezigheid in zit. Gatver, ik zet meteen mijn voet weer op de grond. Rond mijn knieën zie ik iets wits wapperen.
Ik onderzoek mezelf wat meer. Ik heb een witte jurk aan van een hele zachte stof. Zijdeachtig bijna, maar ik kan me geen zijde veroorloven, dus dat zal het niet zijn. De jurk komt tot net boven mijn knieën en valt soepel om me heen. De hals is rond en loopt tot een diepe punt op mijn rug waar mijn bruine gevlochten haar in valt. Het voelt erg naakt aan. De mouwtjes zijn erg wijd en vallen krullerig rond mijn bovenarmen. Ik beweeg een beetje heen en weer om te kijken of het stofje meegeeft. Het felle licht in de kamer reflecteert op het stofje. Het lijkt wel alsof er kleine glittertjes in zitten. Ik sta daar even, zwierend in mijn witte jurk. Dan herinner ik me dat ik de ruimte waar ik ben niet ken en dat ik nog steeds die herkenbare zoete geur ruik. Ik kijk op. Het is erg wit op de bruine vloer na. Er is niets in de ruimte behalve ik. De muren om me heen zijn wit en ruw. Ik wil er naartoe lopen om te zien wat ze zo ruw maakt, maar ik kom niet van mijn plek. Ik probeer mijn voeten op te tillen, maar het lukt me niet meer. Dit is niet erg prettig. Ik word een beetje zenuwachtig. Ik ben op een plek die ik niet ken, in een jurk die niet van mij is, voor zover ik me kan herinneren, en ik kan nergens heen. Wat als ik hier nooit meer vandaan kom! Wat moet ik dan? Verhongeren? Ga ik hier dood? Blijf ik hier de rest van mijn leven moederziel alleen? Oh Jezus, niet zo dramatisch April! Rustig nou. Ik moet eerst weten waar ik ben. Ik kan me niet bewegen. Oké. Dan moet ik er op een andere manier achter zien te komen waar ik me bevind. Diep inademen, rustig uitblazen. Dat helpt me altijd om te kalmeren. Ik sluit mijn ogen en concentreer me op de geluiden om me heen. Eerst hoor ik niets behalve het suizen van mijn oren. Een laag, zacht suizend geluid. Dat is het bloed dat door mijn aderen stroomtt. Ik heb wel vaker gemerkt dat ik dat kan horen als ik me goed op iets probeer te concentreren. Het suizen wordt luider. Dit klinkt toch anders dan normaal, sneller. Nee wacht, dit geluid komt niet uit mij. Nu pas valt me op dat er een laag bromgeluid om me heen te horen is. Maar het lijkt ver weg. Niet in deze kamer. Dat betekend dat er iets buiten deze kamer is. Een rode gloed boort zich door mijn oogleden heen. Ik doe ze meteen open en wordt verblind door een fel, helder wit licht. Ik knijp mijn ogen weer dicht en voel nu waar de kou vandaan komt. Een harde wind waait opeens de ruimte binnen. Ik hoor nu niets anders dan de wind en kan nog steeds niets zien door het felle licht. Ik voel de stof van het jurkje wild om me heen slaan. Het is ijskoud. Boven het gebulder van de wind lijk ik nog iets anders te horen, een hoog gepiep. Heel soms, niet constant zoals het gebrom eerder. Langzamerhand nemen de harde wind en het felle licht in kracht af. De piep is steeds duidelijker te horen en ik kom erachter dat het geen piep is, maar het getjilp van een vogel. Ik doe voorzichtig mijn ogen weer open en de ruimte waar ik me zojuist in bevond is weg. De muren, de tegels. Daarvoor in de plaats is een prachtig veld gekomen. De zoete geur is hier nog overweldigender aanwezig dan in de vorige ruimte. Ook is het hier nog kouder. Het jurkje dat ik aan heb is te dun om me warm te kunnen houden en ik voel de haren op mijn huid omhoogschieten in een reactie op de plotselinge vrieskou. Ik begin verschrikkelijk te rillen en te klappertanden. Maar het uitzicht is geweldig. Om me heen is een enorm grasveld omringd door bomen met in het midden allemaal kleine gekleurde bloemetjes. Wit, geel, rood, roze, blauw. Alle kleuren van de regenboog. Een aantal bloemen herken ik meteen. Boterbloemen, margrietjes, klaprozen, vergeet-me-nietjes, distels en haagwinde. Er zijn ook een aantal bloemen waarvan ik de naam niet ken, maar ze zijn prachtig. Kleine en grote bloemen staan kris kras door elkaar en ze lijken allemaal in harmonie met elkaar te zijn. Het lijkt net een kleurig veldboeket dat erom vraagt om geplukt te worden. Maar dat doe ik niet. Ik wil eerst meer zien van dit veld. Links en rechts van me staan de enorme rijen bomen. voornamelijk bestaande uit Beuken, Berken en Kastanjebomen. Allemaal prachtig groen en vol in bloei. Rond en onder de bomen groeien enorme varens. Ik kan niet goed zien wat zich daarachter bevind. Het zullen wel meer bomen zijn. Mijn voeten zijn nog steeds erg koud. Maar dit is een andere kou dan net. Het gras onder mijn voeten is nog nat. Het voelt erg zacht na de harde stenen vloer van hiervoor waar ik niet kon bewegen. Ik wil door het veld lopen. Omdat ik nieuwsgierig ben en omdat ik wil weten of ik weer kan bewegen. Hopend dat mijn voeten me deze keer wel brengen naar een ander punt dan datgene waar ik al de hele tijd op sta, til ik langzaam mijn rechtervoet op. Gelukkig, er zit beweging in. Ik zet mijn rechtervoet en klein stukje van me af in het natte gras. Het kietelt onder mijn voeten. Ik verplaats mijn volle gewicht op mijn rechtervoet zodat ik ook mijn linkervoet kan gebruiken. Voorzichtig schuifel ik zo naar voren. Stapje voor stapje kom ik steeds verder in mijn veld. Nog steeds staan overal bloemen in de meest prachtige kleuren bij elkaar. Ik kijk omhoog. Geen wolkje aan de lucht. Wel heeft het een oranje gloed. Het lijkt op iets dat ik al vaker heb gezien. Zonsopgang! Natuurlijk, het natte gras, de kou. Het is ochtend. Ik snuif de frisse lucht op. Nog steeds die zoete geur. En nog steeds kan ik het niet plaatsen. Ik loop verder naar voren en zie opeens blauw aan de horizon verschijnen. Hoe verder ik loop hoe blauwer het wordt. Wat is het? Het beweegt. Verschillende soorten blauw geven aan dat het beweegt. In golven. Golven. Is het de zee? Ben ik op een klif? Ik stop weer en sluit mijn ogen om de geluiden om me heen goed in me op te kunnen nemen. Maar ik hoor niets anders dan de vogel die ik eerder ook al hoorde. Af en toe voel ik nog een briesje langs me waaien, maar dat voel ik alleen, ik hoor het niet meer. Ik begin het warm te krijgen. Eindelijk! Uit het niets krijg ik opeens het gevoel alsof ik val. Ik val en val en er lijkt geen eind aan te komen. Ik probeer mijn ogen nog te openen, maar dat lukt niet meer. Dan zijn opeens alle geluiden en de kou verdwenen. Ik plof neer op een zachte ondergrond. Om me heen voel ik een ruwe, prikkende stof. De stof is erg klam en ruikt muf. Alsof het al jaren niet meer gewassen is. Wat niet het geval is. Ik heb het gisteren nog gewassen. Nu weet ik wel waar ik ben. Ik wil mijn open niet open doen. Snel probeer ik alle details van het veld weer voor me te halen. Eerst die vreemde witte kamer. De zoete geur. Die ik overigens nog steeds ruik, maar de muffe geur om me heen onderdrukt het enigsinds. Toen die vreemde ijskoude wind en het veld met de prachtige boeketten, de oranje lucht. Het blauw dat misschien een zee was. Maar ik weet dat het te laat is. Dat ik niet meer terug zal keren naar het fijne veld. Ik lig namelijk in mijn eigen bed in mijn kleine kamertje. De kamer en het veld bestaan niet. Het was maar een droom.

Intro

So yeah. I totally stole my blog title from the movie with Hugh Grant. But in my defence, that was about a boy.

Hi :)
I'll introduce myself first so you'll know who is writing this.
I am Anouk. Currently a junior at the Music Acadamy in Haarlem, The Netherlands. I major in Musicaltheater, which is something I've been practising my entire life. Singing, dancing & acting. But that is not all I do. I watch a lot of movies, I read and write, and I watch a bunch of tv-shows. Right now I'm caught up in three; Once upon a time (which will have it's seasons finaly this monday!!), Supernatural and Glee. That and my schoolwork is what gets me busy during a schoolweek.

Now, what could I possibly do to get your attention here? Well, I'll write little stories. Both in Dutch and in English. My writing is better in Dutch, since it is the language I speak on a daily basis. The ones in English will probably have a lot of weird sentences in them, but I won't care since I (wrongly) think my English is really good. And some of my thoughts will probably find their way to this page too.

To start with one of those, what is up with this bloody cold I'm having? Normally a good night's sleep will take care of the sucker and I won't have to worry about a thing. This particular cold is a whole different story. It started on saturday. I was in my room, watching the latest episode of Supernatural, and all of a sudden my throat started feeling sore. I thought, well allright. A little cold never does much harm. I'll sleep it off. But no, the cold didn't agree. Sunday was alright though. But all hell slowely started breaking loose on monday.
Since I'm a musicaltheater student, being able to sing is sort of a must. But I couldn't. I tried, but it didn't work. My vocal folds kept flapping around in thin air but nothing quite soothing came from that so I just stopped. And this kept getting worse and worse every day. Yesterday I gave in. I called in sick and went home. And here I am. Caughing, headdacke, snotty nose, sore throat. The cold from hell won't let me go! It won't let me sleep, it won't let me work out, it won't let me do anything but lie down on the couch while drinking tea with honey.
But I have good hope that this monsterous thing will leave me eventually. Every cold does. And If I could tell my cold just one thing it'd be this;

Dear cold. Let's be honest. This isn't working out between you and me. What about, we both go our own way and try not to keep in touch? That'd work just fine for me.

Kind regards,
Anouk.

Let's hope the bastard will listen.