Old bad habits started creeping up on me today. Very understandable, because I was mostly afraid to fail when they came to me before and with this new year I decided - and succeeded - to be more active on the stage. But with that comes the opportunity to fail miserably.
I'm more scared to follow this path than any other I ever started because this is the one where I follow my heart, this is the one that I want to become successful, this is the one I would like to stay on for a little while.
This is the one where I do give a fuck.
My approach to something I want badly, therefore don't want to screw up, is make sure I sort of screw up before hand so I'll fail more easily.
Yeah, I don't get it either. It's a hit and run tactic I assume.
But as I decided to actually try to become something or someone, my approach has also changed somewhat.
I face my fears scared shitless these days. It ain't fun but it builds character. Or something like that.
So. That.
I'll stop procrastinating and get on with what I'm actually supposed to be doing right now. Preparing for my rehearsal with the orchestra and half our of singing at the Amsterdam Light festival. Which both will take place in less than 24 hours.
Wish me luck :)
Love,
Anouk
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